It’s been a tough 10 days.
I can’t say why. Not that I don’t want to, just I don’t really know.
If you don’t already know, I’m a CBT therapist by trade. So, I’m taking my own advice and reflecting on the last 10 days, the last 2 weeks and the last few months to figure out why I’ve been struggling.
There’s a lot going on. I’m not sure if anyone’s mentioned, but there’s a global pandemic at the moment 😉 I think that’s stressful for a number of reasons. For one, we can go into “survival mode” or the “fight or flight response” much more quickly and easily at the moment. I, personally, find I can get anxious and/or stressed about things much faster currently. I’ve been feeling quite lethargic and tired for the whole of this pandemic, maybe I’m not sleeping as well… I’m definitely not getting as much outdoor time since October and November have rolled around. Feeling tired can also be a symptom of anxiety/stress. If you think about what happens to our body when we experience the “fight or flight response”, and/or a flurry of adrenaline, it’s exhausting. Add all that up and it’s no wonder I’ve been feeling a bit low. It doesn’t help that I’ve been having problems with my back, which WONDERFULLY, gets worse with stress and is very unpredictable *audible eye roll*.
Work is significantly harder at the moment, the people I speak to are struggling more, and I’m finding it very strange working from home. I think, for me, the most difficult part is feeling isolated. At work I’m used to a busy office environment 3 or 4 days a week, there’s a lot of ad-hoc peer supervision, lots of general chatter… it’s really important to have people to bounce ideas off, or just decompress for 5/10 minutes. It’s funny how often therapists probably “therapise” each other in the office too, even if it’s just the way they’re feeling about work.
Plus, usually we’re very sociable. We usually meet friends several times a week – we would normally go out for meals a few times a week, go out for drinks a couple of times a week or round to friends’ on a Friday and/or Saturday night. Before lockdown I was not really a texter or a caller. I can count on one hand the people who would regularly call me or I would call them!! Now, whilst feeling so very tired, and having not really done anything, I’m finding it hard to reach out to friends and/or colleagues. There’s not much to talk about, and it’s somehow overwhelming to think about getting into a text exchange right now.
I’m not problem solving any of this. I’m giving myself space and time. We have a bubble with one of our single friends, and that’s been a lifeline. I’ve stopped putting pressure on myself to do decorating or “make use” of this “extra time”. We’ve been out for a few socially distanced walks; and I’ve been sending a few messages here and there. We’ve done some video chat drinks. I’ve been pushing myself to take photos for instagram and blog posts. That’s about it for now, and I think that’s enough. Expecting ourselves to have normal or good mental health right now is really setting ourselves up to fail.
If you’re struggling right now, my advice is to reach out to friends. A simple “Hi! How are you?” or “what are you up to, just checking in” can do wonders for feeling connecting and reminding you that people care 🖤
Cattius 